Mixed Emotions...
So this week has been a rather interesting week... I've had a lot of stuff going on in my life and to top it all off we had one of our biggest cases go to Jury Trial for four days this week. The man on trial's charge...Child Molesting.
Obviously when people here the words "Child Molester" a lot of thoughts and emotions stir up inside the person. This case was particularly close to my and my co-workers hearts because after working on a case for a year you feel some sort of possessiveness over the victims and their families, especially when children are the victims. The only real description of this man is that he is, without a doubt, a MONSTER.
Without going into gruesome details, I will tell you one thing that tugged at my heart during this entire process. It's extremely hard to know ALL of the details of a situation and hear all the different angles and how all of those details fit into a case for over a year, and then give all of that over to a jury to decide on this man, the boys, and their families fate, while they don't know all of the details and angles that you have learned over the past year. I kept thinking in my head, "There is absolutely no way that they would let this man off after everything that they have learned throughout the past four days!" However, that four hours that the jury was out deciding what felt like all of our fates, was one of the longest waits of my life. If the verdict came back not-guilty how were we suppose to look into that mother's eyes and say something of encouragement??? I will never forget that night upstairs in the hallway or the expressions on the faces of those who stood with me waiting.
When we were called back into the court room at 7:00pm, I don't think any of us could breath. The heaviness that I felt on my heart was almost too much to handle. The verdict was read, and praise God the defendant was found guilty on all four counts! The division between the emotions on either side of the room was like you were watching two different events happening and the emotions which should correspond to each. Obviously our side of the court room was extatic, with a lot of hugging and smiling. Meanwhile, the other side of the room was in tears, shock, and grief. Despite my excitement for justice being served, it's quite a different thing to see a mother watch her son being handcuffed and escorted to jail, all along knowing that he won't be seeing the outside of those walls for the rest of his life (his expected sentence is 120 years w/o paroll). I didn't feel sorry for the mother; yet I feel possibly the shame that I believe she felt on raising a child molester, and her role in the process of these boys lives that her son violated and defiled. I can't help but say that through all the hugging and tears of joy that were happening inside that court room, I felt a little guilty that we were all so happy that this man of 25, now a convicted child molester, is spending the rest of his life in prison (which don't misunderstand me, is where he belongs). His life is now over because of the horendous choices that he made. No second chances for him. I think of all the mistakes I've made, continue to make, and will make, and even though they are on a way lesser level then this man's in terms of socieities views, they aren't to God. I get second chances. Heck, I'm on chance number 5 million. It kind of put things in a different persepective for me that night. It was disturbing actually. In God's eyes sin is sin. And although I would never say that I am like the man who was just sent to prison the rest of his life for child molesting, in God's eyes, since sin is sin, aren't we all on the same level?
Obviously when people here the words "Child Molester" a lot of thoughts and emotions stir up inside the person. This case was particularly close to my and my co-workers hearts because after working on a case for a year you feel some sort of possessiveness over the victims and their families, especially when children are the victims. The only real description of this man is that he is, without a doubt, a MONSTER.
Without going into gruesome details, I will tell you one thing that tugged at my heart during this entire process. It's extremely hard to know ALL of the details of a situation and hear all the different angles and how all of those details fit into a case for over a year, and then give all of that over to a jury to decide on this man, the boys, and their families fate, while they don't know all of the details and angles that you have learned over the past year. I kept thinking in my head, "There is absolutely no way that they would let this man off after everything that they have learned throughout the past four days!" However, that four hours that the jury was out deciding what felt like all of our fates, was one of the longest waits of my life. If the verdict came back not-guilty how were we suppose to look into that mother's eyes and say something of encouragement??? I will never forget that night upstairs in the hallway or the expressions on the faces of those who stood with me waiting.
When we were called back into the court room at 7:00pm, I don't think any of us could breath. The heaviness that I felt on my heart was almost too much to handle. The verdict was read, and praise God the defendant was found guilty on all four counts! The division between the emotions on either side of the room was like you were watching two different events happening and the emotions which should correspond to each. Obviously our side of the court room was extatic, with a lot of hugging and smiling. Meanwhile, the other side of the room was in tears, shock, and grief. Despite my excitement for justice being served, it's quite a different thing to see a mother watch her son being handcuffed and escorted to jail, all along knowing that he won't be seeing the outside of those walls for the rest of his life (his expected sentence is 120 years w/o paroll). I didn't feel sorry for the mother; yet I feel possibly the shame that I believe she felt on raising a child molester, and her role in the process of these boys lives that her son violated and defiled. I can't help but say that through all the hugging and tears of joy that were happening inside that court room, I felt a little guilty that we were all so happy that this man of 25, now a convicted child molester, is spending the rest of his life in prison (which don't misunderstand me, is where he belongs). His life is now over because of the horendous choices that he made. No second chances for him. I think of all the mistakes I've made, continue to make, and will make, and even though they are on a way lesser level then this man's in terms of socieities views, they aren't to God. I get second chances. Heck, I'm on chance number 5 million. It kind of put things in a different persepective for me that night. It was disturbing actually. In God's eyes sin is sin. And although I would never say that I am like the man who was just sent to prison the rest of his life for child molesting, in God's eyes, since sin is sin, aren't we all on the same level?
posted by Hollywood at 11:18 AM
2 Comments:
ya we totally are...and you can't help but wonder if the convicted man was sexually abused when he was younger. What kind of change did he have to start with? Probably not much. It's not an excuse, but heaven probably wept when they saw the negative influences put on this man's life knowing he will pass it on to 4 other victims.
It's how evil in this world works. Nobody wakes up and decides to be a sex offender.
But decisions are made and consequenses (good or bad)follow.
It would be interesting to watch a documentary on these 4 victims over the years. Cuz let me tell you, without Jesus Christ the bondage these boys will carry will result in the same actions in their own life. Somebody has to tell these boys the truth. Anyone not born-again will do these boys no good....
It's crazy how we sometimes don't realize certain things about our own lives until we see someone else being punished for the wrong-doings they've committed.
You're so right, sin is sin, but the difference is in how we conduct ourselves after we've sinned. Do we continue to do it like that guy did? Or do we see where we were wrong, ask for forgiveness and then release ourselves to God?
Praise God that he is a forgiving God and a just God and that he only wants the best for each and every one of us. Such a comfort in knowing that.
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