Sunday, February 26, 2006

My Journey

The following is the testimony of a guy that was in our court last week for a sentence modification. I thought his testimony that he wrote was extremely powerful and I wanted to share it with you all. It's entitled My Journey...

MY JOURNEY:
My name is Brandon Robinson. I am twenty-two years old and I am currently incarcerated in a southern Indiana prison serving a 28-year sentence. I was born to Dan and Cheryl Robinson in a small town in northern Indiana in 1979. I was very fortunate to be raised by both of my parents. They loved and cared for me unconditionally.
At an early age I began defying authority, especially that of my parents' and the school administration's. Through my adolescence and early yeenage years I was constantly in trouble at school for talking back to teachers, skipping class, and smoking on school grounds. I was suspended from school for several days at a time, but nothing seemed to affect my defiant attitude. Finally, during my senior year of high school, I was sent to an alternative learning center. Even though the school tried to work with me, I eventually decided my education was unimportant and I dropped out.
During this time, my actions spiraled out of control. I was arrested for battery and later picked up for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. The seemingly harmless actions of my adolescense had finally escalated beyond the boundaries of the law. As if this weren't enough, on June 12, 1998, only a few weeks after I should have graduated, I was involved in an auto accident. I was driving three friends back to town from my house when I ran through a four-way stop sign and collided into the side of a small four-door car in my full-size diesel 4x4 pick-up truck. The car was smashed beyond recognition.
After both vehicles came to a stop, I quickly ran over to the car to check on the passengers. Three were dead and other two were unconscious. In total disbelief and fear I ran to the side of the road and collapsed, crying refusing to believe what I had just seen and experienced. The scene of the accident quickly became crowded with spectators and emergency personnel who were attempting to free the individuals from the vehicle. It was into the night before they were able to extract the last victim from the wreckage.
Even though I was uninjured in the accident, I was taken to the hospital any way. I had been drinking. They drew blood and collected urine and determined that my blood alcohol content was 0.099%. That was 0.099% over the legal limit for an 18 year old. As a result, I was arrested and taken to the county jail. Five days later I was charged with three counts of reckless homicide, three counts of operating while intoxicated causing death, and two counts of operating while intoxicated causing serious bodily injury. For many months to follow, I made the cover of several newspapers and became the topic of evening news reports.
Regardless of being badly shaken by this tragedy, once I was released on bond, I quickly fell back into my old rut. I was eventually tried anc convicted of the three counts of operating while intoxicated causing death and two counts of operating while intoxicated causing serious bodily injury. The jury acquitted me of the three counts of reckless homicide. My five convictions resulted in a twenty-eight year prison sentence.
Here I am, three years later, confined to an 11' x 7' concrete cubical, separated from my family, friends, and freedom. Despite having grown up in a stable home, in a quiet neighborhood with my parents, and never having been exposed to alcohol or drugs, I was obviously not invincible or immune to the perils of drinking and driving. I had no intentions of hurtin or killing anyone on the day of the accident, but unfortunately it happened. Now, several parents are without their children, a young girl is without her brother and two best friends, and a baby girl is without her mom and dad. Many people have suffered needlessly because of my careless actions. I have forever destroyed the lives of innocent people. The families and friends of those individuals who died or suffered serious injuries have endured an incomprehensible amount of heartache. My attempt to go out and have fun with no regard for others came with a consequence.
Although I could never make up for what has been lost, some good has evolved through all the pain and grief of this tragedy. During the first couple of weeks in prison, I was introduced to Jesus Christ. During a Sunday morning church service, as I sat in the back row, I felt like I was the only person in the service-as the preacher was speaking directly to me. Shortly thereafter, he led me to ask Jesus into my life. I had tried religion before, I was trying to grab onto something in an attempt to make the whole nightmare disappear, this time I was looking for salvation from my sins. I wanted to be a new person.
As I embarked upon the Christian journey, Jesus began opening doors in my life. He blessed me with the opportunity to graduate from high school and attend a Christian college while in prison. He took away my desire I had to smoke, drink, and use drugs. He also brought about a change in my overall attitude, helping me realize that family, friends, and above all, a close walk with Him are the most important things in life. Even though walking in faith is at times difficult, I have found that having a relationship with Jesus is what life is all about.
If you are like I was, living life with little regard for the consequences of your decisions, I urge you to stop and consider what you are doing. Although I've wished a million times I could relive my life, I will never be able to change what happened. You still have the opportunity, however, to avoid the same mistakes. If you are living recklessly, it is not a matter of if something will happen, but rather when. And when it does, you could find yourself confined to this same 77-square-foot concrete hell from which I write this letter. You will be severed from your family, friends, and society. You will no longer be recognized as a person with feelings, but rather you will be seen simply as a number, a criminal, a convicted felon.
Don't be like me and wait until you are in prison to make the right choices. Do it now!
Brandon's sentence modification did not go to hearing last week before the judge like intended. His new hearing date is May 4, 2006. He's been in prison since he was 18, eight years. What happened was unforgettable for so many and such a tragedy, but I believe he has done his time, and I pray that the judge will modify Brandon's sentence so he can begin his life over outside of prison. He obviously has done so much, and learned so much, and developed a relationship with Christ. He has spoken at many conventions, and written to many kids in school about drinking and driving. God has used his life in such an incredible way, and it was such an experience to see Brandon and hear his story.

Monday, February 20, 2006

TAGGED!

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Subway (oh yeah..I was a sandwich artist)
2. Blue Heron
3. Lavender & Bauer
4. Prosecutor's Office

Four Movies I Can Watch Repeatedly:
1. Steel Magnolias
2. Benny & Joon
3. Diary of a Mad Black Woman
4. Chocolat

Four Places I’ve Lived:
1. Cadillac, MI
2. Warsaw, IN
3. Winona Lake, IN
4. Those are the only places I've lived...what can I say..I'm young!

Four TV Shows I Love:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. OC
3. Beautiful People
4. Friends

Four Places I've Vacationed:
1. Carribbean
2. Hilton Head
3. Myrtle Beach
4. Daytona Beach

Four of My Favorite Dishes:
1. Broccoli Casserole
2. Ritzie Chicken
3. Twiced Baked Potatoes
4. Potato Soup (from Bennigan's)

Four Sites I Visit Daily:
1. Ebay
2. Ioffer.com
3. Yahoo Mail
4. Online Banking

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
1. Carribbean
2. Italy
3. Texas
4. Cancun

Four Bloggers I am Tagging:
1. Nicole
2. Lacey
3. Jon Erdman
4. ???? New to the Blog world...don't have a 4th!

Beauty...Skin Deep???

I'm approaching upon the "month mark," as my brother said, for not updating my blog...so Jon, here's my update...

Spent the weekend with my fabulous family up in Cattle Tracks Michigan. It was a wonderful 17 below the entire weekend. As soon as you walk out side your nose is frost bitten, oh how I don't miss that! Not that Indiana is all that much warmer...but it definitely has not been that cold, and won't get that cold.

I am trying to find a new place to live...the hunt is going less than great. I keep telling myself that I need to find a place ASAP...so the Lord will come through with the perfect and affordable place for me. I've got one last lead before my options have run out. I know that something could become available tomorrow...but I'm getting quite frazzled about not being able to find a place, when I so desparatley need to. I could use some prayer from you all that the right thing would come my way, and soon!

On to more important issues...A friend of mine and I have been discussing recently the lovely issue of self-esteem. I don't understand why so many of us struggle with this issue. I certainly struggle with it, and when I take a good look at who I am, and what I am offering this world, I don't get why I struggle so hard core with this issue. Please don't take that as a vain statement. I don't mean it to be taken that way at all. Of course I have many issues that I am working on, and will continue to work on for the rest of my life. I believe that we should always be re-examining ourselves and looking at areas of our lives that we need to improve to be more Christlike. On the otherhand though, the Lord has blessed me with soooo much, and I know I should not struggle with self esteem, and yet I do.

Low self-esteem drives me nuts! I don't want to struggle with it...and nobody does...but I'm not quite sure how to change it. Usually for me, almost always for me, my low self-esteem comes from how I feel about myself outwardly. I know it is something for me that I will always struggle with for the rest of my life, and most definitley has been, and will continue to be something that Satan uses against me. I don't think I'm alone in this battle. Obviously most women struggle with this. That is why eating disorders, and cosmetic surgery are so prevalent in this world and rob women of their true beauty. I too have been prey to Satan's web of deception that He feeds to women. My own personal struggle with weight and bulimia will always haunt me I believe. I hate that we as women sabotage our lives, and relationships with friends, family and Christ due to our low self-esteem. How do we overcome all of the stereotypes of what society thinks true beauty should look like?? And if we, by some miracle do overcome societies stereotypes and start accepting ourselves and our bodies as being beautiful, how do we still not get bogged down with low-self esteem of those whose mindsets have not changed? I would love for people to start seeing and appreciating eachother's beauty. I would love to walk into a room, and not feel like the whole room is sizing me up. Again, I know many women out there who would love for that to be the case. I don't know that that will ever be the case though. I guess it all has to start with the fact that I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin, as do a lot of women. That's a hard thing to learn how to do, and I'm not sure that I even know where to start with that...