Tired and Desperate
I have to say that I'm feeling quite down today. I don't know that I have exactly put a finger on the source of my desperation that I feel...except for the fact that I am utterly fed up with life.
I'm tired of hearing the trite words that "this too shall pass," or that "it's only temporary." I'm living in the midst of this crap right now...and I really don't want to hear that. A bible verse is not going to make the pain and desperation of my situation go away. It's not that I even expect God to take what I have made an utter mess of and clean it up, but some sort of smile from Heaven would be nice. What else do I need to do for things to get better???? I feel like I have done everything in my power...and I have prayed until I'm blue in the face, and still nothing has changed. I'm tired of trying to reassure myself that God wants me here for a reason at this moment...because I really can't bear it anymore. I am desperate for things to be different, for my situation to change...I know that I can't do it without help from God...so why is he refusing to do anything?
I have been trying so hard to get things right in my life and to work on certain issues...the harder I try...the worse things seem to get. I read in Psalms this morning in chapter 121:
"I lift my eyes to the hills---where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber..."
Why do I feel like He's letting my feet slip out from underneath me? I know that my help is suppose to come from the Lord, and I have felt that in the past...but I don't even see a glimpse of it right now. I am sooo tired and so desperate for things to change...When is it going to happen?
I'm tired of hearing the trite words that "this too shall pass," or that "it's only temporary." I'm living in the midst of this crap right now...and I really don't want to hear that. A bible verse is not going to make the pain and desperation of my situation go away. It's not that I even expect God to take what I have made an utter mess of and clean it up, but some sort of smile from Heaven would be nice. What else do I need to do for things to get better???? I feel like I have done everything in my power...and I have prayed until I'm blue in the face, and still nothing has changed. I'm tired of trying to reassure myself that God wants me here for a reason at this moment...because I really can't bear it anymore. I am desperate for things to be different, for my situation to change...I know that I can't do it without help from God...so why is he refusing to do anything?
I have been trying so hard to get things right in my life and to work on certain issues...the harder I try...the worse things seem to get. I read in Psalms this morning in chapter 121:
"I lift my eyes to the hills---where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber..."
Why do I feel like He's letting my feet slip out from underneath me? I know that my help is suppose to come from the Lord, and I have felt that in the past...but I don't even see a glimpse of it right now. I am sooo tired and so desperate for things to change...When is it going to happen?
posted by Hollywood at 2:41 PM
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