The Ugly Truth

Well I'd like to say that my situation has dramatically changed since my last entry, and although my living situation has not changed, my attitude has begun to change. Being at Nic's has helped tremendously. I've been able to relax and have time to reflect on my life, as well as my attitude.

The ugly truth o the matter is that I'm an impatient person (as anyone who knows me can attest to), and when a situation of my own or someone I care about is not going well, I want to be able to fix it right away...and when I cannot...this huge, intense surge of emotion or irrationality comes over me and I can no longer see past my own self, my own pain, and my own suffering. I hate that I'm that selfish---but that's the bottom line of it.

I have been trying to see the reasoning or any kind of good that can come out of my current situation that I am for some reason going through. I do get that the Lord wants me here for some reason, despite that fact that I haven't figured out why yet...I know I need to be obedient and stay strong even when I don't want to be.

I know I owe a deep thank you, as well as an apology for all of you who have had to put up with my attitude lately. I hope you can be gracious enough to stick with me as I'm walking through this and trying to figure all of this out. I covet all of your prayers and words of encouragement. Please don't let me be SOOO self involved that I don't know what's going on in your own life, or things you need prayer for. I love you all.